One day in ATM

One day in ATM

I remember it was a hot summer day. And, I was going to someplace that I can't exactly remember right now. But, what I do remember is I needed some cash on my way there. So I rushed into an ATM, submitted my card, entered my password that I usually struggle to remember outside any ATM booth. (Please don't halt or diverge. Trust me! This is going to be something more than just remembering or not remembering stuff.)

Being amnesiac (of numbers especially) is right up my alley sometimes. I even had my own number saved in the contact list as ‘Sudip-Myself’ just in case it helps avoid any unforeseen embarrassments.

As I was waiting for the ATM to cash-out on completion of those orchestral noises made out of processing notes, I chanced upon him – a gorgeous calm, little creature lying down on the most unlikely place for him to be.

A grasshopper on the ATM!

Photo Caption: Grasshopper who does not hop on grasses

So tiny he was that would have gone easily unnoticed, had he not rested on the top of the teller machine almost at my eye-level.

I was a little taken aback by the contrast, so to speak; couldn’t exactly remember when was the last time I saw a grasshopper. (Ok, This is the last time I’m using the word ‘remember’. Okay?)

Me: “Dude, what makes you hoping here on the teller machine?”

Grasshopper on the ATM: (utter silence)

Me: “You are supposed to be on the grasses. Aren’t you? I mean that’s why you are a GRASSHOPPER – who hops on grasses.”

Grasshopper on the ATM: (utter silence)

I gave him a closer look this time. He seemed least bothered followed by no intention to move or fly away. Must be the bravest of his kind.   

“You know what? If you keep hoping like this on ATM, perhaps one day you’d be named ATMhopper or something similar to that. That’d be so uncool, Man!” I uttered much to his annoyance.

Grasshopper on the ATM: (utter silence)

Me: “Moreover, we already have one very popular actor named after ATM*. I’m sure he’d mind if such thing happens in real.”

Grasshopper on the ATM: (quietude prevailed)

Meanwhile, my money stopped making noise inside the ATM for the second time in a row and got shelled out. I collected it along with my card. Bored with the one-sided conversation I was about to leave until this prompt reasoning came across my mind.   

Me: “Oh my Gosh!! Don’t you say - it is the ‘Grasshopper Effect’** that brought you here!”

I ran into this cool terminology lately, that stands for making bad things like organic pollutants get transported from warmer to colder region. Perhaps, it was named after a particular characteristic of grasshopper. Perhaps, they love to be in colder atmosphere. Given the temperature outside in this mid June, it is quite natural for a straying grasshopper to look for shelter in an air-conditioned room of ATM booth. Wow! Being proud of my analytical skills I turned back to give my stranger a second look.  

“I’m sorry, dude. We are responsible for all these...killing greens, destroying water bodies, polluting air that collectively led to an extreme weather condition” I sighed.

No reaction as I expected.

“But there are good folks too” I tried to end on a somewhat happy note. 

“You know - one of the greatest poets*** of humankind, who died at the age of only 25 had composed some extremely beautiful lines for you:

The Poetry of earth is never dead:    

When all the birds are faint with the hot sun,    

And hide in cooling trees, a voice will run    

From hedge to hedge about the new-mown mead;    

That is the Grasshopper’s - he takes the lead      

In summer luxury,- he has never done    

With his delights; for when tired out with fun    

He rests at ease beneath some pleasant weed.

...”

It was just then - the so-far-peaceful, seemingly silent stranger screamed out, vented his spleen on me (I should have been strict with my personal policy with regards to poetry that says ‘Never try poetry with a stranger or anyone who is not a poet’)

“YOU UNPRACTICAL, FOOLISHLY ROMANTIC, HYPOCRITE, LOSER CITY DWELLER!!" the annoyance in his voice was evident. 

"THOSE FLUORESCENT TUBE-LIGHTS HAD GOT ME HERE LAST NIGHT BEFORE I GOT BADLY INJURED BY ELECTRIC SHOCKS FROM THAT STUPID WIRED BOX (insect killer of a sort)!!” .

Me (in an attempt to cease the meeting ASAP): “My apology over your misfortune. I should have gave it a thought in the first place. Nevertheless, mind if I take a selfie with you?

Grasshopper on the ATM (more vexed): “WHY NOT? THAT’S THE ONE SINGLE THING YOU GUYS ARE GOOD AT!”

Photo Caption: "Mind if I take a selfie with you?"

To the uninitiated, 

* The name of the actor is ATM Shamshuzzaman

** Grasshopper Effect is the geochemical process by which certain chemicals, most notably Persistent Organic Pollutants (POPs), are transported from warmer to colder regions of the Earth, particularly the Poles and mountain-tops. It explains why relatively high concentrations of POPs have been found in the Arctic environment and in the bodies of animals and people who live there, even though most of the chemicals have not been used in the region in appreciable amounts.

*** The name of the poet is John Keats.